Find Out What Jen Finds

My journey on the spectrum of life … and the lessons I learn along the way …

Parenting with Aspergers

  • March 4, 2008 8:46 pm

I came across this post. I wanted to post an excerpt here. It is good to be aware of this, for me with The Dxd Hub, but also for my blogfriends who have adult spectrum suspects in their lives. (that sounds devious…MUAHAAAA!)

The Asperger’s profile

Your partner may have Asperger’s syndrome if he (or she) has most or all of the following traits. Does he . . .

  1. Have difficulty interpreting body language and facial expressions?

  2. Have difficulty understanding jokes, metaphor and sarcasm because he takes everything in a very literal way?

  3. Struggle to maintain friendships?

  4. Become withdrawn and seem to be uninterested in others, appearing aloof?

  5. Have poor social awareness and find it hard to imagine how his behaviour impacts on other people?

  6. Love routines and get very upset if these are broken?

  7. Have an intense and all-consuming special interest or hobby?

  8. Have sensory difficulties? Is he oversensitive to touch or smell or noise or to a particular taste (people with Asperger’s have a very limited diet). In some cases, there can be an undeveloped sense.

Adapted from the National Autistic Society website:

So now I am digesting. And researching, again, and came across this list from a Conference in 2005 given by Dr Tony Attwood:

The Parent with Asperger’s Syndrome

• Knowledge of normal childhood abilities and the parental role.
• Perfectionism.
• Regimentation.
• Anger.
• Abuse.

Child’s Perception
• Lack of affection, understanding and support. (Aloof).
• Criticism not compliments.
• Embarrassment in public.
• Fear of the parent’s mood and not to antagonize.
• Fear of the ‘cold’ touch of affection.
• Disagreements between parents.
• Parent has a monologue on their own problems.
• Intolerance of noise and friendships.
• Egocentric priorities.
• Favoritism.
• Feeling a nuisance.
• Desire to leave home or move inter-state or abroad.

Child’s Reaction
• Seeking affection and approval.
• Hatred.
• Escape using imagination, solitude, alternative family.
• Choice of partner.

• Recognizing the disorder in a parent.
• Resolving past issues.
• Explaining the person to other family members.

Number one, I wanted to journal on this because I need to be aware of the potential effect having a parent with ASD can have on my own children.

Number two, I wanted my siblings to reflect on how we grew up and the perspective we had of my parents. I have given both parents lots of resources and they have bought books themselves to educated themselves in regards to The Elder and his ASD. I debated on whether or not I should even air this laundry out on my blog, but a few months ago, one of my parents said this to me, “I don’t know….maybe I have Aspergers too.” It was a statement that I haven’t forgotten and have made observations on my many trips home to SC. After reading this article…I wonder myself. Not that it would make a difference now that I’m an adult and not even in the same state as my parents…but it sure would explain some things and would also make some things easier to forgive.