———————————-

We love clementines. Not only are they sweet and seedless (for the most part), but they are easy enough to peel that the kids can help themselves. Regular oranges, on the other hand, have a million seeds and are almost impossible to peel. So I just cut them into wedges and pick out the seeds. The first time I did this with The Younger (because the Elder is high maintenance and wants ALL of the skin removed before he will touch it, so he ops for orange juice instead) he would leave a lot of “orange” pulp on the skins. So I showed him how to eat everything but the rind so there is no waste. So this time (the second time) he was so proud of himself for remembering the “rule” (remember he is The Enforcer), and showed me his orange peel.

Y: Look, Mommy. It’s s’pose to be naked. Just like [E] was naked last night.

———————————-

Y: Orange starts with what?
Me: O
Y: Good, and octopus starts with what?
Me: O
Y: Correct! You are a genius!

I think HE is the genius. Except it comes out more like “genus.” So I wondered just which particular genus I am…

———————————-

The Elder and I went to see Madagascar II (actually we went to see Beverly Hills Chiuahua, but he wouldn’t hear of it since Madagascar II was playing in the same theatre, despite the fact he saw it just last week, and it started 20 minutes before BHC, AND there was no heat in the theatre playing Madagascar II).

Anyhoo, when it was over, we were going to go shop at the Burlington Coat Factory. Well not really, we were going to go play with the toys. That place is so messy and the toys are so well-tested, it’s like a playground. Recalling that the store has locked bathrooms, I urged him to pee before we left the theatre. Which he did.

10 minutes after entering the store he needs to go to the bathroom, of course. Luckily you no longer need a key to pee (I’m a poet and didn’t know it), but they have a buzzer. You know, like the kind they have in secure places like schools, apartment buildings, etc.

For.the.bathroom.

I digress. The Elder finishes up and we continue to “shop.” He did want some Sketchers and I found some really nice ones that were his size at a good price. However we couldn’t find the left shoe. Yeah…it’s THAT kind of store. 10 minutes after the last potty break, he complains that he has to go to the bathroom again.

Me: You just went!
E: (in his best oh-so-loud voice as we weave through the other shoppers) The first time I just had to pee. The second time I have to poo.
Me: Ok, but you don’t have to announce it. (trying not to make eye contact with the other shoppers)

I didn’t have any hand sanitizer with me so I showed him how to use the seat covers.

E: But how will I poo? (I punch out the center) Oooohhh! I didn’t know.

After he was done, he hops off the commode and the liner falls inside just like it’s suppose to.

E: Oh no! My poo is too heavy.
Me: That’s ok. Just flush it.
E: (with much concern) Will it tangle up? And make the water come back out?
Me: No, you’re suppose to flush it.
E: (confident that I misunderstood him) No… I mean inside the tube.
Me: It’s made for that.
E: Oooohhh. I didn’t know.

———————————-

It was late in the afternoon last Saturday after I showered so I didn’t want to get all dressed again, but I didn’t want to put on PJs and I wanted to be comfy. So I put on a little sundress (in the middle of winter) just to wear around the house. The Younger comes running in the closet telling me something and he stop dead in his tracks and in mid-sentence said:

Y: You look like a princess.

———————————-

The Elder still doesn’t have the total concept of the structure of jokes. But he’s nailed the purpose of jokes because I couldn’t stop laughing.

E: Knock knock .
Y: Who’s there?
E: Why did the chicken cross the kitchen?
because it was scrambled eggs!

Y: Ok, it’s MY turn. Knock knock.
E: Who’s there?
Y: Why did the…..thinking and the seeing Skip)…dog cross the kitchen?(
because it was scrambled eggs!

Yeah…OK.

E: Knock knock.
Y: Who’s there?
E: Banana.
Y: Banana who?
E: Knock knock.
Y: Who’s there?
E: Banana.
Y: Banana who?
E: Knock knock.
Y: Hey, it’s MY turn
E: Banana.
Y: (getting angry and fake crying) IT’S MY TURN!
E: One more. Knock knock.
Y: (through pitiful sobs) Who’s there? (that’s was hilarious)
E: Banana. Ok that’s four times. This is the last time. Knock Knock.
Y: Who’s there?
E: Orange.
Y: Orange who?
E: Why didn’t I say Orange?

Then he started “fake” cracking up at himself. No, I didn’t get it either.

———————————-

The Kiddos playing football during the Super Bowl. In case you can’t understand what is going on: The Elder is wearing his “pads” and The Younger is wearing his “helmet” which they each picked out themselves (what imagination). The Elder is keeping up with the “rounds” which I kept explaining to him they are “downs” and that there are only 4 of them. The non-active moments are the Time Outs between plays.

See if you can pick out the moment that The Younger “blows the whistle.” Enjoy.

Y: The game is over.

E: When I get to 20, it’s back to the game. (the play clock?)

E: Dad, you can be the coach. You can blow the whistle.

E: …because when he doesn’t see he doesn’t see where he is going.

Y: The game is over.

Y: Let’s take a break.

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2. Youngerese at its best!
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^*Why the office people recognized him worries me a bit…lolVery matter of fact. The Hub didn’t even need to sign him in. He went to the office, they recognized The Elder^*, and they told him to go straight to the classroom.

So this morning when the bus arrived, we were all surprised at its makeover. Or drug-abuse. Lol.

The Elder's Bus on Steroids

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Let’s back up to yesterday. I texted The Teacher to ask her to call me to discuss what we ought to do because he was doing so well at this MDO program. She suggested that I have a visit with The Director and The MDO Teacher. After all The Elder, loved his preschool (the one before the 4 he got kicked out of) but when I went to observe him, I noticed that, yes he did have friends…but they were all playing over there while The Elder was playing in the corner by himself. “Oh he is just the sweetest little boy. We don’t get any trouble from him.” They should have knocked on wood…

So I called and The Director said that she couldn’t but The MDO Teacher could. So I get there a little late (they didn’t charge me) and I sat down in his classroom. The first thing I loved is that when I got there, The Director made herself available for the first 10 minutes. I assured them that nothing was wrong I just wanted to ask some specific questions regarding The Younger.

They talked about how good and sweet he is. The MDO Teacher went through their routine from beginning to end. Very detailed – so there was no room for assumptions.

She said The Younger can pick out his name, he sits nicely on his mat, he’s attentive and follows directions and he is good at cleaning up, which was no surprise to us. When I taught him to bathe himself with a washcloth, as soon as he was done…forget those toy boats! and he started cleaning the shower stall with his washcloth! This is also the guy who got a fire engine and a playset of a broom, mop, dust pan, etc. Guess which one he plays with more. He also was more excited about the vaccuum cleaner I got for him at a consignment sale. “It’s my size!” is one of his favorite phrases. Now we can sweep our floors without hunting for the broom (which was always found in his room).

What was really funny was the clean up chart. They get a sticker each day that they help clean up. Check out his chart:

There were no red flags that got me worked up. I gave her a few things to look for, those things that appear age appropriate, but can linger a little too long. Like playing by himself, which she admitted that he does do sometimes. Also she said that he doesn’t really participate well in Music Class which is in the choir room with ALL the children instead of just his class of 6 or a combined 3-4yo class of 14 total. It’s EVERYBODY. So there might a little bit of anxiety in larger groups because she said he is fine in the classroom.

I made a point to let them know how happy he is with the program because he has huge anxiety of the unknown. To the point that he is a completely different person. But here, he feels loved and secure and I don’t have to hide from him in the mornings to get him to go.

“That is a huge compliment to you and this program.”

Then I asked The AP about gymanstics and the library because when I take him, it is meltdown city. But she said he is fine. So he only performs for me. This is the same guy who just a month ago (August 11) melted down for TWO HOURS at his evaluation before he recovered to be open to testing. He pulled he stripped naked and peed on the floor. It was very intentional, because the assessor said that it was in a perfect arch around him.

So today, I was slightly afraid that they were going to give us a diagnosis that is not appropriate. However The Teacher insinuated that we should take the services if they offer it to us because if we decline then we can’t go back. Even a year later…

Well, this morning we wake up to this:

After I put The Elder on the bus and The Hub went off to work. We decided to do a little art project. I was taking notes and snapping pictures the whole time so i wouldn’t forget just how hilarious this was.

Exhibit A

The Birthday Card

Me: Today is Ms Nanny’s birthday!
The Younger: Yeah, and tomorrow is Daddy’s birthday.
Me: No daddy’s birthday is on Saturday.
The Younger: Oh Daddy’s birthday is Saturday and tomorrow is MY birthday.
Me: Let’s make Ms Nanny a card

Exhibit B

(Click on pictures to enlarge)
Me: Can you make a face?^{Exhibit A-a}
The Younger: That’s Hair.^{Exhibit B-a}
Me: Where are the eyes?
The Younger: I can make a mouth…I’m drawing Daddy.^{Exhibit B-b}
Me: Where’s his eyes?
The Younger: Oh, I can make eyes.^{Exhibit B-c}
Me: Can you draw a picture of Ms Nanny?
The Younger: I can make a road.
Me: Oh ok.
The Younger: That’s not a garage…^{Exhibit A-b}That’s the garage.^{Exhibit A-c}
Me: What’s that?^{Exhibit A-d}
The Younger: Crashing…there’s lots of crashings.

The Younger: This is the garage.

Me: I think she will love it.
The Younger: WAIT! I not finished yet……there, I finished.^{Exhibit C-a}
Me: What does that say, your name?
The Younger: No. says, happy birfday annie.

Exhibit C

All Boy
No Aspergers

Oops! Update—> The Hub’s birthday is on SUNDAY!! I thought the 28th was on a Saturday. I really did honey…honest!

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We didn’t buy any because it isn’t as fun to get cute PJs for The Younger if you can’t get it for The Elder too. I think The Elder gets a little claustrophobic in body suits, especially ones with the enclosed footies. He has refused to wear them since he was 18 months. The Younger will wear them in 80 degree weather. We actually had to hide them last summer because he would pitch a fit to wear them.

On Christmas Eve, The AP was so thoughtful to purchase nice matching Timberland Footies PJs for the boys. The Hub and I looked at each other with this “Thanks, I really really really hope he wears it” kinda look. Since The Elder is the one who has been requesting dressing the same, we took that angle. We put them on The Younger first. He of course loved them. Then I showed them to The Elder…

“Look! Just like brother’s!!”
“Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!” (screaming and running away.)
“Don’t you want to dress like brother?”
“I can’t like that! It’s too scary to me!”
“What is?”
“The Tag”
“Well put them on and I’ll tear the tags off.”
“Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Not that.”
“Which one then?”
“That one.” (with no pointing to give me a hint)
“This one?” (pulling at the inside label)
“Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! That one! That one right dere!”
“The tag on the zipper?” (the zipper pull)
“Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Not that one.”

He’s totally lost his patience with me at this point. Likewise, I’m running out of tags to point to. I’m beginning to believe that it is an imaginary tag…

“Show me. Point to it. With your finger.”
“Dere.” (quick flick of the hand – still not helpful)
“Lay your finger on it.”
“That one. Dere.”

It was the embroidered Timberland Emblem on the left breastside…
Well, there’s no cutting that out, so I left the tags on and handed them to The AP apologizing that he wouldn’t wear them. She was planning to return them when she got back from New York (she didn’t get to see the ball drop – sad).

So while she was gone, The Hub and I tag teamed on Tub Time duty. He had to shower anyway after his run so The Elder showered with him and The Younger got the tub all to himself. When we got to my bathroom to use the hair dryer, The Younger had already picked out his PJs – The Timberland ones! The Elder asked,

“Where’s mines?”
“Your PJs?” He nods. “You didn’t like them so she’s taking them back to the store.”
“But I want the same as brother.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“These? With the Tree?”
“Yes.”

So I sneaked into The AP’s room to look for them. I brought The Younger with me so I didn’t feel so guilty snooping around. I had a witness. Ha! Luckily they were in plain site. I brought them to The Elder and ask the same questions.

“Yes, I want to wear dose.”
“Ooookayyyy.” I say tentatively.
“Um, you need to take dese off.” (the tags)
“Put them on first and then I’ll take them off.”

He complied. I even left the tags on for a while in fear that he would change his mind. Finally I gave in to his request, letting him know how permanent a decision this was. Evidently when I ran to get the PJs, The Hub ran to grab the camera. We both knew this was picture worthy, even if for a few seconds. But he wore them all through the night and even requested to wear them again on New Year’s Eve. “Where’s my NEW PJs? The ones with the socks?”

I would say, “My baby’s growing up,” but they are footies pajamas. Nothin’ says “baby” like onsies! Look at my babies!

By the way, they carry footies at Target that 5-foot (and shorter) humans can wear. I got a pink one with princess frogs on them! Too cute! And sooooo warm! =o)

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September 17, 2006. Possible triggering in his right thumb while in a relaxed state (understatement on the relaxed, huh?)

October 17, 2006. Awake and active here, the right thumb is not triggering.

Conclusion – The AP was right. It seemed to be a more permanent thing about the time she arrived which makes me feel a whole lot less guilty for not noticing it sooner. She thought that I already knew about it so she never pointed it out. I guess that is the politically correct thing to do. But it doesn’t appear to be a big deal to him. It doesn’t hurt him and when the doc said “Man, that thumb does NOT want to budge,” one would assume that he was using force to test that and The Younger never flinched. Our appointment is next Thursday with the Orthopedic Doc and will probably schedule the surgery from there. Thanks for all the comments for him. He would appreciate all the love!

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I wasn’t sure if it was “duh, there are Starbucks everywhere” answer, or if it was “we don’t have anything in our dinky town” answer. It was the latter. We didn’t plan our consumption very well on this trip. We assumed way too much, so our food routine has been off the last 24 hours. Actually our whole routine is but I figured, better to do this on a trip AWAY from home than in our own home. No blender for The Hub’s daily smoothies. Because tax is cheaper in SC (like by 5%!) we decided to wait until we got here to purchase groceries since we get the organic-gluten-free-casein-free-costs-an-arm-and-a-leg brands and every little bit helps. So we had very little food to choose from. We found a KFC during the trip and peeled off the breading to get it as gluten-reduced as possible. (Here’s a picture of The Younger discovering he like corn-on-the-cob. Was NOT a fun diaper to change later especially since I didn’t think about bringing a sprayer.) We made a box of hash browns for breakfast and noticed in the ingredients that there is wheat flour in it (I guess to keep the potatoes from sticking together). The kids have been super hyper today and I looked at The Hub saying “no more gluten for them.” He laments, “why does gluten turn us into zombies and they go freakin’ crazy?” Well, The Lola (my mom) only knew of one place to go (because we scoped 2 grocery stores in town that had nothing organic, much less gluten-free) and we stocked up on some goods for the kids that they (and we) can handle.

———————————
So we come in yesterday and The Elder goes crazy running around the house. He goes up to The Lola and says in shock and awe, “You got TWO uv em???? One over there and one over there?” I realized he was speaking of TVs. We only have one TV upstairs in our house and we have taken the the cable out of the wall. So they had 2 channels going simultaneously on ABC family watching The Incredibles and USA watching Christmas Vacation so that those in the kitchen were bombarded by clashing noises. This morning, we were serenaded by Spongebob at breakfast. I looked at The Hub and said, we have got to buy some toys to lure these kids away from the tube. So we went out today and got these.

———————————
The Kiddos immediately took ALL (all 832 of them) the throw pillows off the couches and onto the floors. This is acceptable in our house because we have crappy furniture. My parents however have really nice furniture, the kind I’d like to have one day when I grow up. The Lola was hilarious when she decided, “Maybe tomorrow I’ll have to establish some house rules.” I interjected, “Maybe now?”

“Rule #1: Pillows are not toys.”

So The Hub made a sign and taped it onto the oven and printed that for The Elder to read.

———————————
Today was the first time The Younger met his cousins and the first time The Elder noticed them. Collectively, they are ages 2, 4, 6, and 8. Isn’t that cute? (Since there are more of them, I couldn’t called them The Cousin.) Well, The 8yo announces “I have glasses now….Are yours as bendy as mine?” and then later over dinner he looks at me and proclaims, “did you know that animals are connected to sound waves?” So the smarty pants are obviously hand-me-downs, except each kid keeps the smarts before passing it on. The Elder isn’t that great with names yet until after the 2nd or 3rd meeting so as he was calling after them “Hey, 2 guys….” and then later trying to get The 6yo’s attention, he calls after him, “Hey….the one with the no tooth.” I thought I would die laughing.

The 6yo With No Tooth shares The Younger’s love for bananas. We don’t understand why he put it on his head. I think The Younger has a classic sensory look on his face as that peel gets a little too close to his face. Here you can see The Elder indulging his most recent compulsion, flipping the light switches on and off.

“Rule #2: Light switches are not toys.”

———————————
“We need a napkin.” (uh-oh)
“What happened?”
“He has tomato on his shirt.”

My immediate thought was bloody nose, then worse I thought about the bottle of ketchup on the table. But then I see The 8yo With The Bendy Glasses with a whole Cosco-sized container of cherry tomatoes, feeding them to The Elder.

“Don’t be eating those on the couch!!” (remember, it’s nice furniture.) At least he got the Elder eating tomatoes, um, unless he spit them out and that is why it was on his shirt. The Hub thought ahead while he was in there, and removed the squeeze bottle of potentially projectile ketchup from the table while reciting, the next rule…

“Rule #3: Tomatoes are not toys.”

———————————

Off to deal with totally overstimulated kids…

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3. Postscript

—————–
Yesterday, I pulled this drawing out of The Elder’s folder in his backpack and just totally cracked up about it. He has been getting Good marks lately at school which might be why he’s been overly hyperactive at home and not wanting to answer too many questions. When he doesn’t want to think about how to respond to a question, his answer is “trains.”

“What day is today?”
“trains.”
“Where are your glasses?”
“trains.”

So this was just a funny.

—————–
Yesterday we also went through a toy magazine and I had him point out his favorite toys.

“Well, first it’s trains.” (to the tune of “duh”)
“What’s your second favorite?”
“This one.” (it was like a hot wheels track)
“What is your favorite toy that doesn’t have wheels?”
“Let’s go to Arts & Crafts.”
(He sounded like The Teacher here)
“This one.” (it was a build and paint a train craft!)
“That has wheels. Which is your favorite without wheels?”
“Just the paint.”

To paint the train, no doubt.

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Sugar Cookies…

Good ole fashion gfcf sugar cookies. One of The Elder’s classmate’s mom send us some gfcf flours and the recipe to try. First, I never make cookies from scratch and if I do, The Hub is there to supervise and then eventually take over. The Gma was coming over so I thought I was safe. Nope. That made it worse because now I’m feeling the pressure (where do you think The Hub got his baking talent?), but kindly enough I was not chastised for pitching the rolling pin and flattening out the dough with my hands. The Gma brought us a large assortment of cookie cutters to use. I let them pick out which ones they wanted to use, so among the Christmas Trees and ornament, we also had a Christmas Question Mark, a Christmas Hand and Foot, a Christmas “L,” and a Christmas “Z.” Oh, and the Christmas “X” which was accidentally stretched out to look like a Cross.Ten points to the first person who correctly identifies the mass to the left of the foot.

These were ALL the sugar cookies we made. All Ten of them. The Elder did well with the sensory portion. He hated touching the butter, but once we started cutting the shapes he had a lot of fun squishing and flattening the dough. Maybe a little too much…I bit into a cookie that had dog hairs in it. ho hum. We now only have enough batter left to make about 3 cookies. It was some yummy cookie dough – and a LOT easier to do it that way.

Gingerbread Cookfins…

In this post, we were preparing for upcoming food art projects. Fast forward 2 weeks later and we still haven’t done the banana pops and we finally got around to the Gingerbread Train. Well, attempting to make it. In the interim we lost the box to the cookie mix. This is disastrous to me (see first paragraph). We looked through the recycle box but we cannot find that one. I went online to this particular company’s website and lo and behold they can a recipe link on their site! Woo hoo! With much confidence, I start rattling off the instructions from the computer to The Hub. Still being drugged from his procedure (at least that is the excuse I’m using), he questions the instructions but listens to me anyway.

“Really? Two eggs?”
“That’s what it says.”
“Are you sure we use that much oil?”
I point to the computer screen.
“Ok.”

Well, it was not quite the consistency we were hoping for.Yes, that would be the kids spooning the dough into the cookie mold. The Elder was not too excited about the drippiness of the cookie dough. It was not what he expected (or any of us for that matter). We had to get him to pose for this picture. I think I got 2-3 shots of that ONE scoop he participated in before hanging out on the yoga mat.

Needless to say, the trains didn’t turn out. We couldn’t even get the cooked matter out of the mold in one piece. They tasted pretty darn good though. Since we were in charge of refreshments at Sunday School this morning, we used the rest of the dough/batter for mini-muffins. They got hard pretty fast, so they were firm like a cookie, but airy like a muffin. We got lots of compliments on them, despite my lame attempt to explain to them exactly what they were. One of my friends said,

“They’re Cookfins!”

So there, a new tradition? Try it! All the cool kids are doing it.

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Mandolin Mom
Gwendolyn’s Gifts
Allie
Kara

(I’ll get all the links once I get permission to)

I’m going to make up my own rules. Copy and paste the questions below and substitute your own answers (unless we think alike, you have permission to use my answers). Click on the picture and do your own Elf Yourself (just kidding, that’s optional, but check out The AP, The Elder, and The Younger doing the jig by clicking on the picture or here - PREPARE TO ROFLMAO). Then tag 4 of your friends and let them know they’ve been tagged.

“When people say ‘Christmas’ you immediately think…”

Decorations. I don’t particularly care to DO them, but I LOVE to look at them and drive around or go to open houses to see other families’ talents. Particularly, we have a house in our neighborhood that displays a Christmas dolphin, sun, and flamingo. That one is just tradition to go see.

“Favourite Christmas memory…”

As a child, I remember getting up the next morning to see what was in my stocking. The specific memory that comes to mind was when we got a trampoline and they had it set up in the back yard already and I started jumping around the house. I remember my sister and brother being just as excited about seeing my reaction to the surprise.

As an adult, my favorite memory was having my whole family spending Christmas here in TN. Not only did we not have to travel, but the whole family was together (something that hasn’t happened in 3 years) and I remember it being very relaxing in the middle of a stressful time in my life.

“Favourite Christmas song/carol…”

When we are together, my sister and brother and I sing together. We are a SAT trio who each had the same high school chorus teacher, therefore know many of the same arrangements. Our favorites are Carol of the Bells, O Holy Night, and Joy in the Morning.

“Favourite Christmas movie…”

I’m not sure I have a favorite. I did mention Elf the other day. But I do love the classics – Miracle of 34th Street and It’s a Wonderful Life.

“Favourite Christmas character…”

Probably the reindeer. They are so cute – especially the Rodney Reindeer stuffed animals. I used to call him Dopey Deer.

“Favourite Christmas ornament/object…”

A Star or the nativity. I think it is really important to remember why we even have the season.

“Plans for this Christmas…”

To travel to see my family and be together again for the first Christmas in a long time.

“Is Christmas your favourite holiday?”

I’m not sure I have ever had a favorite holiday, but I suppose I would say that Christmas season is my favorite time of the year for so many reasons. It is a time when you have many opportunities to reflect, give, appreciate, keep in touch, set new goals, and be others-focused.

BTW, The Hub is doing well. Here’s his post-procedure post. All I can say is TGIF. I still have to work but I don’t have to GO anywhere! Woo hoo! Well, I do have a Mom’s Group party to go to tonight.

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