Find Out What Jen Finds

My journey on the spectrum of life … and the lessons I learn along the way …
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Protect Our Children!

  • September 15, 2008 11:02 am

I received this email today:



  • March 31, 2008 1:21 am


A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed.
As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation.
They talked about so many things and various subjects.

When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said:
“I don’t believe that God exists.”

“Why do you say that?” asked the customer.
“Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn’t exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can’t imagine loving a God who would allow all of these things.”

The customer thought for a moment, but didn’t respond because he didn’t want to start an argument. The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop.

Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and un-kept.

The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber: “You know what? Barbers do not exist.”

“How can you say that?”, asked the surprised barber. “I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!”

“No!” the customer exclaimed. “Barbers don’t exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside.”

“Ah, but barbers DO exist! What happens is, people do not come to me.”

“Exactly”, affirmed the customer. “That’s the point! God, too, DOES exist! What happens, is, people don’t go to Him and do not look for Him. That’s why there’s so much pain and suffering in the world.”

I got this in a email and it is a topic that we discuss frequently in my small group. It is much like the discussion held at this post, but a little different perspective. I know that one of the questions raised in my small group would be something like, “but what about when bad things happen to good people?”

How do YOU explain that? What analogy do you use?

When I was 12 I wrote an essay called “Analogy to Life” and I have it framed somewhere but I don’t think I have it digitized so I’d have to find the frame and then retype it, which would be worth it to me if I could just find it. I promise when I do I’ll post it here, especially for my own archival purposes. It pretty much sums up my spiritual view about life. It is odd that I could write it down at that age not really knowing my spiritual self at the time, and now as a Christian adult still agreeing with what I had written. Anyhoo, what is a little freaky is that my analogy is a puzzle. At the time my mother was a puzzle addict (she has weaned a little as we stopped getting them for her for holidays). It wasn’t even an assignment (very uncharacteristic of me) but something came over me while I was helping her with a puzzle and I wrote it. So as we embark on World Autism Day and Autism Awareness Month in April, the essay has brought on a whole new meaning to me. I can’t wait to find it and post it. It may have been the single most profound thing I’ve ever birthed, not literally..but literarily.

Parenting with Aspergers

  • March 4, 2008 8:46 pm

I came across this post. I wanted to post an excerpt here. It is good to be aware of this, for me with The Dxd Hub, but also for my blogfriends who have adult spectrum suspects in their lives. (that sounds devious…MUAHAAAA!)

The Asperger’s profile

Your partner may have Asperger’s syndrome if he (or she) has most or all of the following traits. Does he . . .

  1. Have difficulty interpreting body language and facial expressions?

  2. Have difficulty understanding jokes, metaphor and sarcasm because he takes everything in a very literal way?

  3. Struggle to maintain friendships?

  4. Become withdrawn and seem to be uninterested in others, appearing aloof?

  5. Have poor social awareness and find it hard to imagine how his behaviour impacts on other people?

  6. Love routines and get very upset if these are broken?

  7. Have an intense and all-consuming special interest or hobby?

  8. Have sensory difficulties? Is he oversensitive to touch or smell or noise or to a particular taste (people with Asperger’s have a very limited diet). In some cases, there can be an undeveloped sense.

Adapted from the National Autistic Society website:

So now I am digesting. And researching, again, and came across this list from a Conference in 2005 given by Dr Tony Attwood:

The Parent with Asperger’s Syndrome

• Knowledge of normal childhood abilities and the parental role.
• Perfectionism.
• Regimentation.
• Anger.
• Abuse.

Child’s Perception
• Lack of affection, understanding and support. (Aloof).
• Criticism not compliments.
• Embarrassment in public.
• Fear of the parent’s mood and not to antagonize.
• Fear of the ‘cold’ touch of affection.
• Disagreements between parents.
• Parent has a monologue on their own problems.
• Intolerance of noise and friendships.
• Egocentric priorities.
• Favoritism.
• Feeling a nuisance.
• Desire to leave home or move inter-state or abroad.

Child’s Reaction
• Seeking affection and approval.
• Hatred.
• Escape using imagination, solitude, alternative family.
• Choice of partner.

• Recognizing the disorder in a parent.
• Resolving past issues.
• Explaining the person to other family members.

Number one, I wanted to journal on this because I need to be aware of the potential effect having a parent with ASD can have on my own children.

Number two, I wanted my siblings to reflect on how we grew up and the perspective we had of my parents. I have given both parents lots of resources and they have bought books themselves to educated themselves in regards to The Elder and his ASD. I debated on whether or not I should even air this laundry out on my blog, but a few months ago, one of my parents said this to me, “I don’t know….maybe I have Aspergers too.” It was a statement that I haven’t forgotten and have made observations on my many trips home to SC. After reading this article…I wonder myself. Not that it would make a difference now that I’m an adult and not even in the same state as my parents…but it sure would explain some things and would also make some things easier to forgive.