Youngerese/Elderese of the Week
I actually have pictures and video this time (though not the video I promised a month ago…)
———————————-
We love clementines. Not only are they sweet and seedless (for the most part), but they are easy enough to peel that the kids can help themselves. Regular oranges, on the other hand, have a million seeds and are almost impossible to peel. So I just cut them into wedges and pick out the seeds. The first time I did this with The Younger (because the Elder is high maintenance and wants ALL of the skin removed before he will touch it, so he ops for orange juice instead) he would leave a lot of “orange” pulp on the skins. So I showed him how to eat everything but the rind so there is no waste. So this time (the second time) he was so proud of himself for remembering the “rule” (remember he is The Enforcer), and showed me his orange peel.
Y: Look, Mommy. It’s s’pose to be naked. Just like [E] was naked last night.
———————————-
Y: Orange starts with what?
Me: O
Y: Good, and octopus starts with what?
Me: O
Y: Correct! You are a genius!
I think HE is the genius. Except it comes out more like “genus.” So I wondered just which particular genus I am…
———————————-
The Elder and I went to see Madagascar II (actually we went to see Beverly Hills Chiuahua, but he wouldn’t hear of it since Madagascar II was playing in the same theatre, despite the fact he saw it just last week, and it started 20 minutes before BHC, AND there was no heat in the theatre playing Madagascar II).
Anyhoo, when it was over, we were going to go shop at the Burlington Coat Factory. Well not really, we were going to go play with the toys. That place is so messy and the toys are so well-tested, it’s like a playground. Recalling that the store has locked bathrooms, I urged him to pee before we left the theatre. Which he did.
10 minutes after entering the store he needs to go to the bathroom, of course. Luckily you no longer need a key to pee (I’m a poet and didn’t know it), but they have a buzzer. You know, like the kind they have in secure places like schools, apartment buildings, etc.
For.the.bathroom.
I digress. The Elder finishes up and we continue to “shop.” He did want some Sketchers and I found some really nice ones that were his size at a good price. However we couldn’t find the left shoe. Yeah…it’s THAT kind of store. 10 minutes after the last potty break, he complains that he has to go to the bathroom again.
Me: You just went!
E: (in his best oh-so-loud voice as we weave through the other shoppers) The first time I just had to pee. The second time I have to poo.
Me: Ok, but you don’t have to announce it. (trying not to make eye contact with the other shoppers)
I didn’t have any hand sanitizer with me so I showed him how to use the seat covers.
E: But how will I poo? (I punch out the center) Oooohhh! I didn’t know.
After he was done, he hops off the commode and the liner falls inside just like it’s suppose to.
E: Oh no! My poo is too heavy.
Me: That’s ok. Just flush it.
E: (with much concern) Will it tangle up? And make the water come back out?
Me: No, you’re suppose to flush it.
E: (confident that I misunderstood him) No… I mean inside the tube.
Me: It’s made for that.
E: Oooohhh. I didn’t know.
———————————-
It was late in the afternoon last Saturday after I showered so I didn’t want to get all dressed again, but I didn’t want to put on PJs and I wanted to be comfy. So I put on a little sundress (in the middle of winter) just to wear around the house. The Younger comes running in the closet telling me something and he stop dead in his tracks and in mid-sentence said:
Y: You look like a princess.
———————————-
The Elder still doesn’t have the total concept of the structure of jokes. But he’s nailed the purpose of jokes because I couldn’t stop laughing.
E: Knock knock .
Y: Who’s there?
E: Why did the chicken cross the kitchen?
because it was scrambled eggs!
Y: Ok, it’s MY turn. Knock knock.
E: Who’s there?
Y: Why did the…..thinking and the seeing Skip)…dog cross the kitchen?(
because it was scrambled eggs!
Yeah…OK.
E: Knock knock.
Y: Who’s there?
E: Banana.
Y: Banana who?
E: Knock knock.
Y: Who’s there?
E: Banana.
Y: Banana who?
E: Knock knock.
Y: Hey, it’s MY turn
E: Banana.
Y: (getting angry and fake crying) IT’S MY TURN!
E: One more. Knock knock.
Y: (through pitiful sobs) Who’s there? (that’s was hilarious)
E: Banana. Ok that’s four times. This is the last time. Knock Knock.
Y: Who’s there?
E: Orange.
Y: Orange who?
E: Why didn’t I say Orange?
Then he started “fake” cracking up at himself. No, I didn’t get it either.
———————————-
The Kiddos playing football during the Super Bowl. In case you can’t understand what is going on: The Elder is wearing his “pads” and The Younger is wearing his “helmet” which they each picked out themselves (what imagination). The Elder is keeping up with the “rounds” which I kept explaining to him they are “downs” and that there are only 4 of them. The non-active moments are the Time Outs between plays.
See if you can pick out the moment that The Younger “blows the whistle.” Enjoy.
Y: The game is over.
E: When I get to 20, it’s back to the game. (the play clock?)
E: Dad, you can be the coach. You can blow the whistle.
E: …because when he doesn’t see he doesn’t see where he is going.
Y: The game is over.
Y: Let’s take a break.
Find Out What Happened to Jen’s Blog
I was locked out! 
Thankfully it wasn’t a server problem so everyone was able to read and comment but I couldn’t moderate first-time commenters to have it post. But thanks for the emails (and comments) and phone calls that I got with your concern of our whereabouts.
Looks like the lastest upgrade to the Open ID plugin was a bust (as discovered be The Hub). So I’ll have to find a different one but I don’t think anyone who is currently commenting is using it. As a matter of fact, someone with a blogspot address should see if it is taking your URL yet.
If you are wanting to Mr. Linky your post for this week’s Success Sunday, post it on the previous one.
Soooo much to update and journal on, including The Elder’s IEP meeting but that might take a while because I typed it up in my DayNotez in very raw form. A cut and paste would make NO sense to the General Public.
However I will give you an up-to-date quip.
Let me give a little bit of background information. Fridays are usually family movie night, but since last night The Hub and I went bowling for an event (I do better at the Wii though), we had to defer the movie to today. Well we were going to go to a party instead but they totally were NOT in the mood for a 45 minute drive to a party that starts about an hour before their regular bedtime. It gives me the heebie jeebies just thinking about the potential chaos we might have endured! However they did start to lighten up (with some threats) enough to go ahead and watch a movie.*I guess I do too.I got some really cute popcorn holders ($1 each at the Target Hot Spot) and they eat a LOT less popcorn that way too*.
Now, The Elder has been SUPER sensory lately and licking everything.**Yet, this is the guy who won’t eat French Toast (GFCF of course) that has black spots on it. I try to explain to him that it was cinnamon, but I just get the “It’s barnacles! It’s boring!” typical response.He was even licking the inside of the VHS tape case before the movie even started. I’ve seen him licking his shoes, licking the legos, licking his brother, I mean, everything!
So when The Hub asked which movie we should watch, I replied, “Osmosis Jones, because it’s about germs.” If you haven’t seen the movie, it is half cartoon and half not. Bill Murray plays Frank, and his body is the “City of Frank” where germs, organs, bodily fluids, etc. are all animated and portrayed as a micro-universe or such. It is a very clever movie. Me likey witty.
Anyhoo, when the movie first introduces the above concept, you see Frank eating an egg that had fallen on the ground and the camera follows it down his throat. In attempt to explain that to The Elder I said:
The Elder: No, that’s not it. We are just watching.
Me: (I pause to enjoy my amusement) You’re right, I didn’t mean to be so literal.
The Hub and I make eye contact and snicker while The Elder continues to watch like nothing happened.
Maybe about 10 minutes into the movie I look at The Hub and say, “I guess this isn’t an kids movie” I look around and neither of them are paying attention to the movie. Either their back was to the TV or their head was inside a bookshelf or something other than watching the screen. From the very beginning The Younger was playing with a puzzle so he was never really engaged in the movie to begin with. I think he was just excited to have his own little popcorn box (which he knocked over and lost his popcorn and The Skipper Dog ended up partaking). The most exciting part to The Elder is realizing that Osmosis Jones is the same as Marty on Madagascar (Chris Rock).
Me: (looking at him confused, but totally seeing his point) You don’t think it’s funny?
The Younger continued to work on his puzzle (the same one over and over again for most of the 90min movie) and The Elder started playing with the invisible ink and black light pen he got because we he sold for him at least 10 coupon books on behalf of his classroom. Then he started going through the VHS tapes and DVDs and pulling them all out. The Younger decided to join him.
By the end of the movie (I did prep them for the funny part at the end and they laughed hysterically as if they were waiting for that for years), all of the movies were off the shelves, on the floor, on the futon, etc. The good news is that there never was a meltdown and they never said “I don’t like that” or “Let’s watch a different movie.”
But they gave us some pretty strong hints…
What did you just say?
I took The Younger to Target with me this morning to get a few things. I remembered to bring my cloth bags in this time so I didn’t have to buy a new one like I usually do! (Don’t think that is considered Reducing, Recycling, OR Reusing….or cost-effective). Anyhoo, I usually like to take my big pink bag because it is BIG. I got it from Wal-mart back before reusable bags were cool. It’s a big dorky hot pink mesh bag that I got for $5. I scanned the receipt and keep it with the bag at all times but no one has stopped me for shopping lifting yet.
Anyhoo, my philosophy is if I have a big bag, I’ll fill the big bag. Therefore, don’t get a cart. Well, The Younger insisted that we get a cart because he wanted to ride in the back of the cart. I obliged since he has gotten so big that he takes up most of the cart. Therefore, less volume to fill up with useless stuff from the Target Clearance Racks and the Hot Spot. And..and…and…I didn’t have to carry him nor did I have to worry about him running off.
Well we had just picked up new lunchboxes and thermoses for him and The Elder now that they are on clearance and moved on to the picked-over school supplies. Hmmm. That’s a good deal. What would I do with all those gluesticks? I guess the question would be what would The Kiddos do with all those gluesticks. Yikes. I’ll pass. Move along…
OOoooo…tab dividers….pretty colors….aahhhhhh…
While I’m all enthralled with the cheapness of the pretty tab dividers and contemplating exactly what I would actually divide with the tabs, The Younger is in the cart behind me trying to get my attention.
The Younger: Look mommy! It’s Madagascar!
Me: It is? (In my ‘I’m pretending to be interested to humor you, but am more interested in these tabby things to actually look at what you are referring to’ tone of voice)
The Younger: Yes! Look!
I’m sure he was saying other things too before I finally decided that I could afford to get 2 sets of the pretty tab dividers without breaking the bank and I’ll figure out what to with them later. I’m sure I’ll find something to attempt to organize.
The Younger: See Mommy!
Me: Lemme see…where? (as I try to spot some kinda of Madagascar Paraphernalia in the vicinity)
The Younger: Over here!
He was pointing to a box on the endcap…
Me: (a little in shock, but keeping my cool) Good Reading.
