about Mimicking: Youngerese is starting to sound a little familiar
‘Mommy, if you want to put butter all over the sides of my bread, you may.’
‘You can’t do — AND —. You have to choose.’ Then in same oh-well tone as me, he adds, ‘Ok, then. It’s your choice.’
‘MOM! I washed my hands with soap!’ he announces when leaving the bathroom.
–The Younger (age 4)
Ever notice how your kids start picking up your mannerisms and catch phrases (and rules)?
Because The Elder didn’t converse at age 4, he never really mimicked me. The Younger was a different story. He was carrying on conversations with people (with a valid picture ID) by age 3, as well as the walls.
I am constantly reminded of the differences between the two because of the juxtaposition of their development within the confines of our family. It’s both fascinating and frustrating.
It’s fascinating to see their development and how I can respect each milestone (and each inchstone) they reach with a much greater pride than I think I would’ve had if we hadn’t been ‘blessed with autism.’ It’s interesting to learn what ‘typical’ looks like. The Younger will pretend (on his own without prompting!), voluntarily hug and kiss us and say ‘I love you,’ beg to go outside to run around and play, prompt us for attention or approval, make/draw things for us, and other nice little typical surprises that we didn’t even know existed yet. This played a huge part in early intervention (in my opinion) for The Elder. I am grateful for their birth order and the 2-year distance between their birthdates. ’They’ say that it is common for the emotional and social development of children with an autism spectrum disorder to lag at least 2 years (–They, circa 2000). In the last 2 years The Elder has picked up these ‘habits’ and ’scripts’ from his brother. Today at age 6, he has grown to enjoy many of these habits, like choosing to play outside over a computer game, and pretending. His creative side has really developed since being in the 1st grade. There are still scripts and if-then scenarios that are apparent to me that they are little performances, but to the general public, he is perfectly normal. And I’ll take a hug whenever I can get it! 
As for the other side of the coin, I often get thrown for a loop when The Younger has typical emotional responses yet inappropriate corresponding behavior responses. I knew early on that we had to surround him with positive peer models. That way he understood that, when he’s hungry, to say “I’m hungry,” and not to strip naked and pee on the floor. That is definitely not the kind of mimicking that gives me warm fuzzies. Being the little brother who adores his big brother, mimicking is expected and is how he expresses that love (great). He will, overnight, developed the same phobias. Because The Elder acts as if ‘buttons’ are manufactured by The Devil himself, then surely that’s a valid fear, right?
BUT the flipside of the other side of the coin is that The Elder learns unpleasantries from The Younger! The Elder skipped some of those developmental phases of toddlerhood and preschool (every parent’s wish, huh?), like developing a sweet tooth, lying and stealing (often to hide his sweet tooth), calling me ’stupid’ and yelling ‘I hate you’ when I’ve deprived him of something (to satisfy his sweet tooth I’m sure). But he has begun HIS phases at age 6 after observing The Younger. His ‘regressions’ are actually his mimicking of his brother (he never actually did those things in the first place to regress to them).
As an adult, I catch myself mimicking others too, especially those I frequently see or talk with. I guess its just a part of human nature in all stages of life. The hard part is not enduring the Terrible Twos through the Satanic Sixes (and beyond). The hard part is myself being a good role model for them to mimick.
Elderese/Youngerese of the Day
This morning The Younger was making it crystal clear how tired he was of waiting for me to finishing putting on my makeup.
Me: I’m almost done…There! Do I look beautiful? Elderese/Youngerese of the Day – continue reading …
Youngerese/Elderese of the Week
I actually have pictures and video this time (though not the video I promised a month ago…)
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We love clementines. Not only are they sweet and seedless (for the most part), but they are easy enough to peel that the kids can help themselves. Regular oranges, on the other hand, have a million seeds and are almost impossible to peel. So I just cut them into wedges and pick out the seeds. The first time I did this with The Younger (because the Elder is high maintenance and wants ALL of the skin removed before he will touch it, so he ops for orange juice instead) he would leave a lot of “orange” pulp on the skins. So I showed him how to eat everything but the rind so there is no waste. So this time (the second time) he was so proud of himself for remembering the “rule” (remember he is The Enforcer), and showed me his orange peel.
Y: Look, Mommy. It’s s’pose to be naked. Just like [E] was naked last night.
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Y: Orange starts with what?
Me: O
Y: Good, and octopus starts with what?
Me: O
Y: Correct! You are a genius!
I think HE is the genius. Except it comes out more like “genus.” So I wondered just which particular genus I am…
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The Elder and I went to see Madagascar II (actually we went to see Beverly Hills Chiuahua, but he wouldn’t hear of it since Madagascar II was playing in the same theatre, despite the fact he saw it just last week, and it started 20 minutes before BHC, AND there was no heat in the theatre playing Madagascar II).
Anyhoo, when it was over, we were going to go shop at the Burlington Coat Factory. Well not really, we were going to go play with the toys. That place is so messy and the toys are so well-tested, it’s like a playground. Recalling that the store has locked bathrooms, I urged him to pee before we left the theatre. Which he did.
10 minutes after entering the store he needs to go to the bathroom, of course. Luckily you no longer need a key to pee (I’m a poet and didn’t know it), but they have a buzzer. You know, like the kind they have in secure places like schools, apartment buildings, etc.
For.the.bathroom.
I digress. The Elder finishes up and we continue to “shop.” He did want some Sketchers and I found some really nice ones that were his size at a good price. However we couldn’t find the left shoe. Yeah…it’s THAT kind of store. 10 minutes after the last potty break, he complains that he has to go to the bathroom again.
Me: You just went!
E: (in his best oh-so-loud voice as we weave through the other shoppers) The first time I just had to pee. The second time I have to poo.
Me: Ok, but you don’t have to announce it. (trying not to make eye contact with the other shoppers)
I didn’t have any hand sanitizer with me so I showed him how to use the seat covers.
E: But how will I poo? (I punch out the center) Oooohhh! I didn’t know.
After he was done, he hops off the commode and the liner falls inside just like it’s suppose to.
E: Oh no! My poo is too heavy.
Me: That’s ok. Just flush it.
E: (with much concern) Will it tangle up? And make the water come back out?
Me: No, you’re suppose to flush it.
E: (confident that I misunderstood him) No… I mean inside the tube.
Me: It’s made for that.
E: Oooohhh. I didn’t know.
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It was late in the afternoon last Saturday after I showered so I didn’t want to get all dressed again, but I didn’t want to put on PJs and I wanted to be comfy. So I put on a little sundress (in the middle of winter) just to wear around the house. The Younger comes running in the closet telling me something and he stop dead in his tracks and in mid-sentence said:
Y: You look like a princess.
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The Elder still doesn’t have the total concept of the structure of jokes. But he’s nailed the purpose of jokes because I couldn’t stop laughing.
E: Knock knock .
Y: Who’s there?
E: Why did the chicken cross the kitchen?
because it was scrambled eggs!
Y: Ok, it’s MY turn. Knock knock.
E: Who’s there?
Y: Why did the…..thinking and the seeing Skip)…dog cross the kitchen?(
because it was scrambled eggs!
Yeah…OK.
E: Knock knock.
Y: Who’s there?
E: Banana.
Y: Banana who?
E: Knock knock.
Y: Who’s there?
E: Banana.
Y: Banana who?
E: Knock knock.
Y: Hey, it’s MY turn
E: Banana.
Y: (getting angry and fake crying) IT’S MY TURN!
E: One more. Knock knock.
Y: (through pitiful sobs) Who’s there? (that’s was hilarious)
E: Banana. Ok that’s four times. This is the last time. Knock Knock.
Y: Who’s there?
E: Orange.
Y: Orange who?
E: Why didn’t I say Orange?
Then he started “fake” cracking up at himself. No, I didn’t get it either.
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The Kiddos playing football during the Super Bowl. In case you can’t understand what is going on: The Elder is wearing his “pads” and The Younger is wearing his “helmet” which they each picked out themselves (what imagination). The Elder is keeping up with the “rounds” which I kept explaining to him they are “downs” and that there are only 4 of them. The non-active moments are the Time Outs between plays.
See if you can pick out the moment that The Younger “blows the whistle.” Enjoy.
Y: The game is over.
E: When I get to 20, it’s back to the game. (the play clock?)
E: Dad, you can be the coach. You can blow the whistle.
E: …because when he doesn’t see he doesn’t see where he is going.
Y: The game is over.
Y: Let’s take a break.
